Happy at School

So it seemed we were right and that it was the Grandparents' housemove that unsettled CY. Once they had moved and he had had a sleepover he was fine and has been attending his school unit every day for the all of this half term. Not only that, but he threw us a curve ball and decided to join Air Cadets! None of his friends were joining, he just researched it himself and decided to go. He's had all his hair cut off (yes, even went to a hairdresser for only the second time ever.) It hadn't been cut for almost 18 months! He loves it and is very happy.

On Saturday we received a letter from his Ed Welfare Officer inviting us to an attendance meeting to 'explain the irregularity in his attendance and what we have done to help.' Very p****d off!! He's been in every day since Feb half term. The irregularity started precisely because they tried to make him go back to his regular high school and it completely threw him. As for what we have done about it??!! They bloody know he has Asperger's, are we expected to cure it??

I rang the EWO to express that OH and I were not at all pleased with the tone of the letter and she couldn't understand why 'because all the usual legal bits had been left out'. So now we are supposed to be grateful that they are not trying to sue us. O. M. G. I know that all she wants to do is cover her back becasue she wants to make sure that they have done everything to ensure Joe has what he needs educationally but why oh bloody why can't they just take our word and CY's word. They seem to think that if he refuses, it is because the provision isn't right - it has nothing to do with that, it is entirely to do with how 'high' (what we call it when his AS is at its most intrusive) he is. When things are going well, he goes in. When he's anxious, he doesn't. Trying to make hime go to a different school is counter productive. he loves his Unit and his teachers there.

I have now asked CY to write a statement about how he feels about his educational provision so I can take it to this meeting. He has agreed to do it, though he sagely pointed out that' you do know they'll just accuse you of forging my signature, don't you, Mum..!' Just love Aspie bluntness and honesty :D

CY still school refusing and he's getting very frustrated and upset by it as he has no idea why he can't go in. Even when he really wants something he can't go in to earn it so we have gone backwards quite a bit. he has only attended 2 days since they returned in January.

Ed Welfare and School Attendance officer were supposed to come this morning for a meeting but didn't show. Have lost a morning of exam marking time for no reason.

Have to go back through the GP for a referral to CAMHS due to new system. Grrr. What a waste of time, the doctor's and mine.

Ok, so it's been a while since I posted anything on here. Of course, Asperger's hasn't been cured in that time and I'm not sure I'd want it to be except on days like today. CY hasn't returned to school since term started last week and I'm not even sure that he knows why - that is probably the most frustrating thing about AS - you get the reaction but often have no bloody clue what the trigger was. So he stays in bed during his school hours (9.30 - 11.30) but otherwise is good - we, fortunately, haven't returned to the old days of meltdowns.
So what's triggering the school refusal this time? Could be one of a few things. Christmas excitement always throws him a little but usually he only refuses for one or two days at the start of a term. His cousins from Canada visited and returned at the end of December but again this didn't seem to throw him too much. Number one suspect at the moment is the impending house move of Gran and Gang (Grandad). CY has only ever known them living at one house and to make matters worse they don't have another house lined up yet so to CY and his lack of being able to process abstract things, I imagine this has become a massive focus for uncertainty. Of course, when you ask him why he's refusing he genuinely has no clue. The way I reason it, whenever he feels uncertain he tries to make himself 'safe' and to CY that means staying in bed.

Of course, understanding this does not make living with it any easier.
Nor does it make you feel any less of a failure when you have another school meeting to attend.
And no matter how many times you do it, making that phone call to school to let them know that, once again, he can't be persuaded to come in, still makes you feel crap.