After a few days of trying to get CY into school, we have had no success. They have done all they can, I think, in terms of getting him a private room, meeting him at home , setting up siutable work etc. We have done all we can in terms of seeling the idea to him as a good one.Perhaps now the LEA will get their finger out and sort out some kind of home tuition?
DF (new mentor) has been in contact a couple of times a week to check whether he's going in, but he just won't, and alongside the refusal we get his feeling of failure because he hasn't managedit, with the subsequent high behaviour at home. All we are doing, I think, is setting him up to fail.
Last Thursday there was meeting to decide if he has a place at the Vulnerable Pupil Unit, or whatever it's called this week. No-one contacted me last week to tell me the outcome, even though they know we are waiting for the verdict. Rang the Ed.Welfare dept today to be told CS isn't in and that the manager might get back to me today if she knows the information.
Waiting, waiting, waiting.
Still haven't had a letter from CAMHS confirming that they are underwriting the Psych report.
Monday 28 September 2009
Tuesday 15 September 2009
And so it goes on
Last Thursday we had a meeting at school to discuss the way forward with CY. Again I requested a place at the Pupil Support Group to be told it has to go to the panel on 23rd Sept for a decision - all the time Joe's enthusiasm 'window' is lessening. No way of rushing it. No-one wants to stick their head out and make a bloody decision. And also, there are a limited number of places, I've been told so he may not get in. At which point I said that they will need to make a place because he has medical needs which have to, legally, be met. CS was trying to make out I thought it was easy to get this extra help - erm, yes, it's taken TWO YEARS and we are still no better off, I REALLY think this is easy......
School have arranged for CY to work with a new mentor who seems very nice. They still do not seem to accept the psychologists report, still saying they need a 'consultant' to make a diagnosis, even though the school Ed. Psych who was at the meeting said it was a very thorough report with clear recommendations. I asked again about Enhanced School Action PLus to be told he is already on School Action Plus (no-one bothered to tell us).We left the meeting with the arrangement that the new mentor would visit home to see CY on Monday (yesterday) and having been THOROUGHLY patronised by the SENCO. She was saying this is a new start for CY ands we have to put it to him positively, as if WE have caused this problem by telling him he can't do it. OMG. For two years we have been putting on the happy face for CY only to be devastated when he can't make it. For two years we have been ringing schools saying we can't get our son in after spending all morning being upbeat with him.
Better news last Friday (11th) as CAMHS key worker rang to say that their consultant HAS AGREED THE DIAGNOSIS OF ASPERGER"S as have three other specialists on their panel. So school can no longer rely on that 'we need a consultant' chestnut before they do anything. No-one wants a disabled child but when you have one and people are refusing to accept it, a formal diagnosis makes you very happy indeed.
Yesterday (Monday) CY's mentor came out and he was very co-operative, agreeing to go into school today for an hour and work with her. She had arranged a quiet room and suitable work etc so there shouldn't be problems. Except this morning after being quite chatty he suddenly stopped answering any of my questions (about breakfast etc), shut down and refused to interact. When I tried to ask about what he found difficult he wouldn't speak. I tried to explain about what school had put in place, to reassure him but he shouted at me to stop talking about school and started crying. It's like he thinks he can go in, but then finds it too difficult. Intellectually he wants to go (hence buying new shoes, stationery etc, telling friends) but doesn't actually get there.
Have rung school and spoken to JW (who at least now is very sympathetic) and DF, who is going to try again tomorrow and come out to the house if he won't go in. Have no idea what will happen next week when I start teaching again. Wish I'd never agreed to it, even if it's only a few hours.
Have decided to request Statement - had put it off as thinking WD (his mainstream school) is much better for him but it's not working and time is passing by. We don't have much left to lose if he won't go into his mainstream anyway. How long have I been saying he needs individual attention from tutors? I feel we are constantly experimenting with him, trying new ways to get him in when perhaps we should just accept he won't/ can't and try something else. All he's getting are messages of failure when he doesn't manage it. We've had a lovely child all Summer and today I have a very Aspergic child. Go figure.
School have arranged for CY to work with a new mentor who seems very nice. They still do not seem to accept the psychologists report, still saying they need a 'consultant' to make a diagnosis, even though the school Ed. Psych who was at the meeting said it was a very thorough report with clear recommendations. I asked again about Enhanced School Action PLus to be told he is already on School Action Plus (no-one bothered to tell us).We left the meeting with the arrangement that the new mentor would visit home to see CY on Monday (yesterday) and having been THOROUGHLY patronised by the SENCO. She was saying this is a new start for CY ands we have to put it to him positively, as if WE have caused this problem by telling him he can't do it. OMG. For two years we have been putting on the happy face for CY only to be devastated when he can't make it. For two years we have been ringing schools saying we can't get our son in after spending all morning being upbeat with him.
Better news last Friday (11th) as CAMHS key worker rang to say that their consultant HAS AGREED THE DIAGNOSIS OF ASPERGER"S as have three other specialists on their panel. So school can no longer rely on that 'we need a consultant' chestnut before they do anything. No-one wants a disabled child but when you have one and people are refusing to accept it, a formal diagnosis makes you very happy indeed.
Yesterday (Monday) CY's mentor came out and he was very co-operative, agreeing to go into school today for an hour and work with her. She had arranged a quiet room and suitable work etc so there shouldn't be problems. Except this morning after being quite chatty he suddenly stopped answering any of my questions (about breakfast etc), shut down and refused to interact. When I tried to ask about what he found difficult he wouldn't speak. I tried to explain about what school had put in place, to reassure him but he shouted at me to stop talking about school and started crying. It's like he thinks he can go in, but then finds it too difficult. Intellectually he wants to go (hence buying new shoes, stationery etc, telling friends) but doesn't actually get there.
Have rung school and spoken to JW (who at least now is very sympathetic) and DF, who is going to try again tomorrow and come out to the house if he won't go in. Have no idea what will happen next week when I start teaching again. Wish I'd never agreed to it, even if it's only a few hours.
Have decided to request Statement - had put it off as thinking WD (his mainstream school) is much better for him but it's not working and time is passing by. We don't have much left to lose if he won't go into his mainstream anyway. How long have I been saying he needs individual attention from tutors? I feel we are constantly experimenting with him, trying new ways to get him in when perhaps we should just accept he won't/ can't and try something else. All he's getting are messages of failure when he doesn't manage it. We've had a lovely child all Summer and today I have a very Aspergic child. Go figure.
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